Action Research in ENG 1023

The Pressure: Peers and Expectations

“To thine own self be true”

- Shakespeare in Hamlet

           

                      Living with the expectations of other people, pressured by peers, insecurities and trying to please everyone pressure students like me.  We are pressured by worries that come in many various guises. One is that we feel inadequate when we compare ourselves with others. We say that “maybe I’m not good enough to do that job,” or “I don’t think I’m clever enough to make an impact.” It’s really hard to cope when you’re afraid to commit mistakes and the thought that they might just laugh on you. We may be afraid to be ourselves as we really are in the presence of others, just like me. I’ve experienced it and ended up saying to myself, “I can’t let people get to know me as really I am. If I do so, they may lose confidence in me or belittle me.” So I just act and pretend to be someone else.

Next thing that pressures us, students are expectations.

Expectation can be a two-edged sword. While it implies that an individual or team should be successful, the accompanying pressure that comes with that assumption so often leads to disappointment. (Johnny Green, “Expectation, pressure: Ryan Mallet knows both”).

Expectations of members when you’re a leader, expectations of those who believe in you, expectations of your parents and the expectations of the society on you as a responsible youth. I’m just hearing those, a knot in my stomach forms. Let’s focus on the expectation that mostly pressures students and me; the parent’s expectations. Yes, this one drives me crazy the most. Because most of the time my parents expect much on me. I don’t want to frustrate or let them down. But there are times that my abilities are limited and I’m just up to what I can give.

Solutions to these pressure problems. In dealing with peer pressure, what I’m doing is that I choose my type of crowd I’m comfortable with but still I mingle with others.  It’s just that I don’t try to be in a group wherein I can’t relate much or  what do we call  my “views in life” don’t harmonize with theirs. And if you were in this your “not kind type of group” you’ll try to be “in” or impress them to be cool in their eyes and that’s where your own personality loses. And that they just said something “this or that” you’ll have a change course of mind. No. As what Abraham Lincoln had a very sober and practical way to handle criticism, he said, “If I were to try read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me this shop might as well be closed for any other business I do the very best I know how, the very best way I can, and I mean to keep on doing so until the end. If the end brings me out all right then what’s said against me won’t matter. If the end brings me out wrong, then 10 angels swearing I was right would make no difference.” (Sri Dhammananda, 83)

Be in a crowd where you don’t lose your own self. When you’re trying to please everyone, you will end up pleasing no one and you will only land yourself in trouble.

When it comes to the expectations pressure, I always put on a positive aura and set my goals and priorities.  I don’t let myself be affected with what they would say, I just do what I’m obliged to and do the very best that I can. As with my parents’ expectations, I have a sincere talk with them and tell them about what things I can and cannot possibly do but I assure them that in everything I do, I’ll give all and that I’ll take responsibility with my actions if ever I failed.

These things helped me based on my experiences. Above all these pressures and problems, the most helpful: don’t forget to smile as a one way out of trouble and when everything goes wrong as what Ella Wilcox gives her viewpoint:

“It’s easy enough to be pleasant;

When life flows like a song,

But the man worthwhile,

Is the one who can smile,

When things go dead wrong

For the test of the heart is trouble

And it always comes with the years,

And the smile that is worth

The praises of the earth,

Is the smile that shines through the tears.

(qtd. in Sri Dhammananda, 17)

Works-Cited

K. Sri Dhammananda, Why Worry? How to live without fear and worry.  Philippines: Philippine Buddhist Printing Sutra Association, 2001.Print

Johnny Green. “Expectation, pressure: Ryan Mallet knows both”. Texarkana Gazette “Serving the Four States Area.”  Texarkana Gazette.24 Sept. 2010. Web.30 Dec. 2010

http://www.texarkanagazette.com/news/columns/2010/09/24/expectation-pressure-ryan-mallett-knows--100.php

  

                                 BY: Dessa Mae Senoro Ragudo

BSEM 1-1

                                                                                                                                          January 03, 2011

Don't use your eyes to see love but with your HEART.

 I remember the story: 

 

John Blanchard stood up from the bench, straightened his Army uniform, and studied the crowd of people making their way through Grand Central Station. He looked for the girl whose heart he knew, but whose face he didn't, the girl with the rose. His interest in her had begun thirteen months before in a Florida library. Taking a book off the shelf he found himself intrigued, not with the words of the book, but with the notes penciled in the margin. The soft handwriting reflected a thoughtful soul and insightful mind.

In the front of the book, he discovered the previous owner's name, Miss Holly Maynell. With time and effort he located her address. She lived in New York City. He wrote her a letter introducing himself and inviting her to correspond.
The next day he was shipped overseas for service in World War II. During the next year and one month, the two grew to know each other through the mail. Each letter was a seed falling on a fertile heart. A romance was budding. Blanchard requested a photograph, but she refused. She felt that if he really cared, it wouldn't matter what she looked like
When the day finally came for him to return from Europe, they scheduled their first meeting - 7.00 p.m. at the Grand Central Station in New York.

"You'll recognize me," she wrote, "by the red rose I'll be wearing on my lapel." So at 7.00 p.m. he was in the station looking for a girl whose heart he loved, but whose face he'd never seen. I'll let Mr. Blanchard tell you what happened:

A young woman was coming toward me, her figure long and slim. Her blonde hair lay back in curls from her delicate ears; her eyes were blue as flowers. Her lips and chin had a gentle firmness, and in her pale green suit she was like springtime come alive. I started toward her, entirely forgetting to notice that she was not wearing a rose. As I moved, a small provocative smile curved her lips. "Going my way, sailor?" she murmured.

Almost uncontrollably, I made one step closer to her, and then I saw Holly Maynell. She was standing almost directly behind the girl. A woman well past 40, she had graying hair tucked under a worn hat. She was more than plump, her thick-ankled feet thrust into low-heeled shoes. The girl in the green suit was walking quickly away. I felt as though I was split in two, so keen was my desire to follow her, and yet so deep was my longing for the woman whose spirit had truly companioned me and upheld my own.

And there she stood. Her pale, plump face was gentle and sensible, her gray eyes had a warm and kindly twinkle. I did not hesitate. My fingers gripped the small worn blue leather copy of the book that was to identify me to her.

This would not be love, but it would be something precious, something perhaps even better than love, a friendship for which I had been and must ever by grateful. I squared my shoulders and saluted and held out the book to the woman, even though while I spoke I felt choked by the bitterness of my disappointment. "I'm Lieutenant John Blanchard, and you must be Miss Maynell. I am so glad you could meet me; may I take you to dinner?" The woman's face broadened into a tolerant smile. "I don't know what this is about, son," she answered, "but the young lady in the green suit who just went by, she begged me to wear this rose on my coat. And she said if you were to ask me out to dinner, I should tell you that she is waiting for you in the big restaurant across the street. She said it was some kind of test!"

:) 

Things That A Perfect Guy Would Do

Things That A Perfect Guy Would Do

1. Known how to make you smile when you are down.
2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice.
3. Stick up for you, but still respect your independence.
4. Give you the remote control during the game.
5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you.
6. Play with your hair.
7. His hand would always find your hand.
8. Be cute when he really wants something.
9. Offer you plenty of massages.
10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork.
11. Never run out of love.
12. Be funny, but know when to be serious.
13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious.
14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready.
15. React so cutely when you hit him and it acutally hurts.
16. Smile a lot.
17. Plans a romantic date full of things he wouldn't normally do because he knows it means a lot to you.
18. Appreciate you.
19. Help others out.
20 Drive five hours just to see you for one.
21. Always gives you a kiss when you leave, even when his friends are watching.
22. Sing, even if he can't.
23. Have a creative sense of humor.
24. Stare at you.
25. Call for no reason.

:)

BSEM 1-1 ENMA 3013

 I am 5 years From Now 

 

Yes, five years from now. I can see myself as a 21-year old entrepreneur starting to put up a small business with my uncle and couple as my business partners. A boutique shop selling personalized tees and garments or perhaps a franchised store. I may be facing problems as a starting and young entrepreneur and struggling with the demands of putting up a business and competition but still i will see to it that it wouldn't be a downfall, with my family and loved ones helping me. Five years from now, I am matured enough to take risks and opportunities abound for me. And well, have learned from my experience and professors the things i need to learn in setting up an enterprise but still willing and wanting to learn more. And I think I have the guts now to operate my business and ultimately can contribute to the country's economic pool.

These things are what I want to accomplish after graduating at PUP as an entrepreneurial student. But for now, as a freshman i must focus first on the present and should study hard to make these things i want possible. 

:)